For awhile now I have been really deeply examining my path. I find so many things both for and against it. Perhaps when I am doing this soul searching, I am looking at it from the point of view of the grass is always greener on the other side. My problem is that I see and hear so many folks who can speak to these amazing adventures that their lives have taken. That their spiritual journey is lead by powerful forces and those forces aren’t loftly and within the realm of the gods, they are in their backyards. I suppose a great deal of it I shrug off assuming that those people are just playing up this and that, that they have experience in order to get more ‘witch cred’. I don’t buy it.
That brings me to where I am now. I have been a witch for a long time. Edging close to 15 or so years. Half of my life has been spent under this search for god and goddess and if any of the books I’ve read has any credibility I should be astral traveling to some magical amazing dreamland full of mystical secrets by now. I should have had personal conversation with the Lord and Lady and had tea with the divine. After all of this time I think part of me still truly believe that some day my world will crack and be laid down, then the world will be entirely different. That the world will change hues and I will be one of the few who can see it. This leads me to point (Finally, I know)
Our paths need to evolve. Nothing can stay the same forever and as I’ve seen it, its pretty unhealthy for it to be. I no longer truly believe in the absolutely fantastic. I wish I could, but after so many years of seeking it, I just don’t believe it outs there. Now, I still believe in magic, I still work magic. I believe in the divine, but I think I’ve come to have a more narrow focus on what life is, how it’s defined, and that as a witch (And as a Strega Witch) I need to focus more on whats in front of me and my community. I realized that I need to begin offering more to my community. So I’ve started to consider a few things and then some kind of amazing things happened.
After contemplating this for some time I started to speak to some friends at our local metaphysical store and worked out some classes that I could teach folks and feel a bit more connected with my community. After my first class, folks began to come to me for advice and help on their lives and path. It felt amazing to be able to aid anyone who came to me. I’ve done spells, tricks, readings, etc. for people and I feel like I really could reach out and them help. I haven’t accepted any funds pushed toward me for the help and I think because of it more people feel like I’m actually there to help rather than make money. Which is fantastic!
Once all of this started to fall into place, I begin to see the divine a bit more clearly. I felt better connected to my spirituality more than I ever had before. I’ve learned that teaching and helping is what my path is really all about and through it perhaps I can finally connect with more of the forces and powers so many speak of. Though I still can’t easily commune with the spirits, sense energy the way a lot of folks can and a few other things I really hoped I would have been able to do working with these forces for as long as I have. I think I finally found what I am suppose to do to continue with my path.
That’s my advice for this very long post. You can read all of the books you want, you can study to your heart’s content and perhaps even “Do the Stuff” as they say until your blue in the face. If it doesn’t seem to be working for you, change something. A lot of us don’t fit neatly into some of the categories that the authors write about. We are different and we each have our fate. How we get there is entirely up to us, but once you’re on that road you’ll begin to notice signs (But that is perhaps again the Strega in me). These signs are unmistakable. Follow and heed them. Your life will seemingly be put on easy street. Things will fall into place, start making more sense and you’ll feel unbelievably alive. Keep the faith, learn everything you can about everything. You’ll be shocked who you learn your life’s lesson from. Most of what I’ve come to terms with now has been through the communications between folks in the ATRs and specifically talks with a Palero who really taught me what it is to be a witch. (There is actually some REALLY funny connotations to that, but I’ll leave that for another time). Fight for your community, live as your heart tells you too and embrace your strengths and weaknesses. They will be your road map for it I’ve seen.
Many blessings to you dear readers,
-SilverShadow
